Women at work: lawyer

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Continuing my series on women going back to work after having a baby, this week we meet an ambitious lawyer who is refreshingly honest about wanting to get back to work and showing a strong work ethic to her son.


How did you get into law?

From a young age, my dad always told me he thought “law was a good job” and I basically followed his advice (and am thankful for it). I took the traditional route of studying law at university, then onto law school for a year followed by a two-year training contract with a law firm, before eventually then qualifying as a lawyer (which I have now been for almost 13 years).

Briefly, describe a typical day at work…

No day is ever the same – which is one of the many things I love about my job. However, typically it might look like this: Early morning tends to see some form of management meeting (maybe a Business Development meeting, firm strategy meeting or a Graduate Recruitment issue – I am also the firm’s Training Principal and Graduate Recruitment Partner). Then it’s client work, which can be anything from meetings, calls, document reviews, drafting, court applications and hearings. I am a private client lawyer and specialise in a mixture of contentious and non-contentious trusts and estates work. Lunch might be a training session or another internal meeting – or it might actually be lunch! The afternoon will be back on client work, which will see me through to the early evening and then it’s either home or it might be a networking event.

What is the best part of your job?

I absolutely love the variety of my work and the fact that I am challenged every day. I knew early on that dealing with pure transactional work was not for me, but working in a large corporate city firm means I am very fortunate with the type of clients I have. By way of example, I can be looking at succession planning for high-net-worth individuals who might hold large companies or landed estates, negotiating deals with national heritage bodies to save estates for the nation or I might be dealing with applications being brought against trustees of multi-million-pound trusts. I also feel very fortunate to work with some of the brightest lawyers and barristers and not just in the UK.

And the worst?

The hours are long and clients’ expectations are high – but then so they should be, as ultimately I work in a client-service industry. As a partner, there are also a lot of demands on you that come from other areas, such as the need to build your practice. This involves not just doing the work on your desk, but going out searching for the work too and investing time in other areas for the firm’s growth – in my case Graduate Recruitment and the development of our trainees. Juggling the demands of a busy career and making time for the important role of business development, and ensuring we recruit and retain the best talent does have its challenges and very often I feel there are not enough hours in the day!

How many children do you have?

I have one delightful little boy who is almost 21 months old.

How old was your child when you went back to work?

My son was 10 months old. I started my maternity leave three days before he arrived (which wasn’t planned, although in fairness I hadn’t left myself much time as was aiming for a week of feet up on the sofa before he arrived). Part of the reason in leaving it to the last minute was because I had decided early on to take 10 months and return to work full time, so I wanted to make sure I used all of my maternity leave with him.

How did you find going back to work after having a baby?

The honest answer is that I was actually rather desperate to get back to work. To some, this might sound horrific, but that does not mean that I didn’t find it hard leaving my son, nor do I find it easy that I don’t see him as much as I did. But I have got my own identity back and I also truly believe that it is important for my son to see me working and understand the importance of a strong work ethic.

Did you go back to the same job? Or consider a career change?

I went back to exactly the same job and never considered doing anything but this.

Who provides childcare for you?

We have a nanny for three days a week and our son attends nursery two days a week. I work from home on one of the nursery days so I can do the pickup and I sometimes leave the office before 5pm on a nanny day so I can do bedtime. This allows me to see my son one or two nights during the working week and my hugely-supportive husband is responsible for all the other days in terms of getting home on time to do pick up/relieve the nanny.

Was it easy to negotiate flexible working/returning to work?

I was in a very fortunate position, as being a partner I am ultimately responsible for my own practice. Of course, going back full time meant little was changing, but I was able to make the decision about working from home and if I want to leave early I just do – but if I do I am then in the study after bedtime logging on and catching up on emails for a couple of hours.

Would you say your attitude to work has changed since having a baby?

I still have the same career aspirations I always had and, in that regard, my career has stayed very important to me, but I do work more efficiently now and I do say no to things. I can’t go to every drinks evening (and lawyers do find themselves at a lot of these!) and I have to think carefully about travel that takes me away from home for a few days as I have other responsibilities now. However, I believe in balance and sometimes there is something in the work calendar that is very important and I have to prioritise this, and other times I cancel things to make sure I see my son.

What advice would you give to mums on maternity leave?

Make the most of the time, as it goes so quickly. Try to get out and about as much as you can. Meet new mums and make an effort. Maternity leave can be lonely and you need to have at least one person that you can be open and honest with and call on for a coffee. I would also say don’t feel guilty if you pine for the office (or equivalent). Having a baby and how that changes your life is very personal to you – my own view is that I don’t believe motherhood defines you. It certainly adds a new layer to you and brings a new element to your life that brings so much joy. But for some (and I absolutely accept it’s not for everyone) being a working mum can make you a better mum and don’t be afraid of accepting that if you fall into that category as I certainly did. If you miss work while you are on maternity leave then do whatever you can to keep in touch. Take the baby into the office, log in and check the odd email – do whatever keeps you sane! Quite frankly, maternity leave can be really hard work and yes there is coffee and cake (and sure I miss this now and again) but it’s not a breeze by any stretch.




To work or not to work? That is the question


I’m jumping well ahead from pregnancy in my blogging adventure, but this is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about recently and I’m sure many of my fellow mummy friends are in the same boat. The old ‘going back to work’ dilemma.

While on maternity leave I decided not to go back to my old job in London, as the cost of commuting and nursery fees didn’t add up and, to be honest, I didn’t want to commute to London with a baby back in Kent. For those of you who do a similar commute, you know what Southeastern trains are like, even on a good day.

At the moment I’m officially unemployed, but it just feels like I’m still on maternity leave (except I’m not getting any money coming in each month and I’m still going out for coffee a lot). I recently had a job interview and it felt fantastic. Mainly to be out of the house alone, with hair done and make-up on, wearing clean clothes that didn’t have baby sick on them. Oh and wearing a nice necklace that I didn’t have to worry about being grabbed and chewed. I was a bit nervous about the interview, but when you have a demanding eight-month-old child you don’t have time to spend sitting around worrying (or preparing for that matter); its more of a seat-of-your-pants, blag-it type situation.

When I got home, my Mum had enjoyed a lovely morning with a well-behaved baby and I was excited to see her (the J that is, not my Mum – no offence Mum). Being greeted by a big smile when you open the front door is always a treat. After I’d given Mum the low-down on how I thought the interview went, she and I got chatting about childcare and how I felt about potentially going back to work.

To be honest, I swing from never wanting to leave the J’s side to being ready to have some adult time away from her. Then there’s the whole childcare issue and whether to go down the nursery or childminder route (we can’t afford a nanny). I hate the idea of leaving her with strangers who don’t know her little quirks or how to comfort her when she’s upset. Sometimes I feel like the J is too young to be left without me. She’s eight months old, but she still seems like such a fragile little thing and my maternal instinct to protect her is so strong. When I first got pregnant I couldn’t wait to finish work. I’ll be a lady of leisure, I thought. Never in a million years did I think I would get fed up of being at home. But then I didn’t know what it’s like being at home with a baby. I think I had visions of chilling out on the sofa all day, watching reruns of Friends and drinking cups of tea. Ha ha ha, how wrong I was.

It turns out, I find being at home all day quite boring. Don’t get me wrong, I love looking after the J, but it can be monotonous. I try to fill my weeks with fun activities (some for her, some for me). We do a baby sensory class once a week and I go out for coffee and cake with my mummy friends on a regular basis. We also like to walk around Sainsbury’s and look at the baby clothes (this is probably the highlight of my week). We go to the park and for walks, but there comes a point where I don’t want to talk about baby stuff any more (ironic seeing as I am spending my free evenings writing about baby stuff). I need something more. So it turns out I do want to go back to work.

I suppose I always had visions of the J going off to pre-school or nursery when she’s two years old and is a boisterous toddler who loves playing with other children. At the moment she is so little and mostly wants cuddles from her Mummy. Am I being selfish by wanting to go back to work so soon? I feel really torn and that there’s no right answer.

I’ve been offered some freelance work for a magazine at the end of October and Grump is on half term, so he can look after the J for the week. I think this will be a really good test to see how I fare away from her, but then I won’t be too worried as she will be having lots of fun with her Daddy. I’m also hoping that he will get a better understanding of how difficult it is being at home with a baby all day and will cut me some slack when he comes home from work and the house looks like a small nuclear device has detonated and blasted toys, sicky muslins and random socks all over the place.

I don’t think I’m cut out for life as a full-time stay-at-home mum, but am I cut out for life as a part-time working mummy? Only time will tell.

P.S. Why do my hands look so weird in this photograph?